Thursday, October 29, 2015
A few years down the road, you would remember this... but probably just vaguely. This month is one of the most challenging times you have ever faced in your life. Others don't see it like that, but you do. And true enough, after some time, it doesn't seem that big of a deal now.
Apa lg yg bole membuatkan seorg mama sgt stress... anak2 x sihat la. Work-related stress I can handle, but psl anak2, it can really break you down.
Zarif just turned 6 months earlier in Oct, and he just started solids at about 5.5 months old. 2 weeks went fine but the 3rd week (when he was exactly 6 months) is the beginning of a very stressful time for me. I am not 100% sure what he had at the daycare (either papaya or apple) but that triggered something and it caused him to have bowel movement more frequent than normal. So starting from 7th Oct (Wed), he was pooping a lot more than normal. We didn't take him to his pediatrician yet at the time because it wasn't that severe. Maybe from going once a day to 3x a day. The coming weekend we had a trip to Singapore so we went, and then things got bad. He was pooping at least 8x a day, and him bum was RED.
When we got back on Sunday, Zul had to fly off to Korea on the same day for work. I decided to take Zarif to KPJ Shah Alam the very next day. Mcm biasa la, dpt Smecta and tukar susu lactose free. It helped a bit but just for a day. The next day, kerap balik. For the 2 days, my mom yg tlg jaga Zarif. x smpi hati nk hantar ke taska bila dia x sihat. Anyway, the pediatrician did say kalau x ok, come back on Thursday (14th Oct - Rabu, cuti Awal Muharram). So I went back to see him. It has been a week since this all started and things are not looking OK. All the while I was communicating with Zul, and he did say mcm kena warded je kalau pegi balik on Thursday. True enough mmg kena warded. Dlm ward dpt la additional ubat angin and tukar susu lg, to Isomil. And then on Sunday I requested to be discharged sbb I had to take care of Izz. All the while when I was in the hosp with Zarif, my mom was the one who took care of Izz. Esok nye Izz nk ke sekolah. Sapa nk hantar ambik. xkan nk harap my mom jugak. The doc said kalau balik, kena dtg for daily checkup. So I said ok.
Ahad mlm smpi Isnin pagi, things got even worse. Mmg planned nk ke hosp pun for checkup so I went. Izz yg konon nye nk ke skola x jd sbb skola tutup - JEREBU. The haze was quite bad sbb skola end up tutup smpi Khamis. Both Zarif and Izz dh start batuk2 on Monday. Izz punye asma mmg teruk dh Isnin tu. Pegi bwk Zarif checkup on Monday, tp Izz yg terlebih batuk2 smpi muntah segala kat hosp. Doc yg check Zarif checked Izz as well and then said, both your sons x sihat and they are better off in the ward. Diorg nk monitor Zarif and for Izz, of course la consistent nebulizer. Masa tu dh terkedu dh. xtahu nk ckp apa. The doc also said, elok la duduk ward sama2. You can take care of both and in hosp... not so exposed to the haze kalau x keluar. So I said ok. Terus call my mom and asked for her help. I am so thankful that my mom came and helped us kat hosp. She even asked me to go home and rest for the night because I have not had enough rest for several days. She stayed the night with the boys.
I went home that night and came back to the hosp the next morning. Izz looked a lot better but Zarif is getting worse. The next day on 20th Oct (Tues), tukar susu lg. Now ke Mamex Gold Pepti. There was a time when he pooped almost 20x a day. And because things are not getting better at all after 2 weeks, I texted Zul and asked him to come back. He was still in Korea at the time. He managed to arrange to come back on 21st Oct (Wed). We spent another night in KPJ, then suddenly on that Wed morning yg Zul supposed to come back, the doc asked me to come down to his clinic. It was about 9.30am. Rupe2 nye dia dh made some arrangement for me to bring Zarif to see a gastro pediatrician in UMMC. Dia kata get ready and go UMMC and see that specialist. I said nk discharge pun ambik a few hours at least to get insurance confirmation and whatnot. Dia kata xpe, just pack and go. Sign some documents to agree to pay later, then you go. Then he also said, please don't feel like I just halau you. I know the specialist can advise you better on this. So he discharged both Zarif and Izz. I said Izz mcm mana, dia kata dh better so smbg mkn ubat je smpi btul2 ok.
Masa ni dh rasa down gile. Who else am I supposed to contact? Suami x balik lg. Sapa lg... mak la. Dr aspek ni Allah mmg sayangkan diri ini. Suami jauh, dia bg mak yg x brp jauh, ada free time, and masih mampu go here and there on her own. One of the reason is to help me. Called mak and she immediately came and brought us to UMMC. Smpi sana agak awal tp rupe2 nye klinik gastro only starts after lunch. Mmg mcm tu kata org sana. Nk buat mcm mana, dh smpi dh pun. xkan nk balik. Area sana dh la jam, parking horror. So we waited smpi la pkl 4pm kot. The specialist has sooooooo many patients, we ended up jumpe medical officer je. After cerita from A-Z, mmg sah Zarif kena masuk ward. Tgh dok sibuk uruskan hal nk masuk ward suddenly Zul called. Dia br landed, and he asked knape kena pegi UMMC. I gave a summary and then he said he'll straight away come to UMMC from the airport. Kunci rumah pun xde with him so he cannot go home.
Long story short, he came to the hosp and asked me knape x request private wing? I was like, ada ke private wing kat sini? FYI, saya mmg x familiar langsung dgn area UMMC ni. Penah pegi skali je kot seumur hidup. Itu pun melawat org masa tu. Mana la nk tau. Mmg menyesal x tahu psl private wing tu. Pkl 5 lebih baru masuk ward, and it's already quite late nk tukar masuk private wing pulak. Kalau tau, awal2 dh tnye psl private wing, xyah masuk ward biasa. After Maghrib br setel urusan kat UMMC so Izz balik dgn mak, and Zul balik rumah. Izz nk balik rumah ikut ayah nye but since Zul will be on the move most of the time the next few days, x elok la nk bwk dia around as well. Dah la jerebu. So he agreed and went back to Kajang. He was very patient that day. Teman setelkan urusan Zarif masuk ward dr siang smpi ke mlm. xde meragam sgt. He is a good boy. Anyway, that night in the ward mmg la x selesa langsung. I couldn't sleep vertically so in the end I decided to tido atas lantai. Dpt la tido 2 jam sblm Zarif bgn nk susu. Even on Mamex Gold Pepti, Zarif was still pooping very often.
The next day terus Zul uruskan psl transfer ke private wing. Saya pun dh x tahan bila kejap2 dtg doktor pelatih la, students la, tnye mcm2. Kena citer from A-Z at least 5x pagi tu. Mcm rekod buruk ok. Dh la x cukup tido, kena tnye mcm2. Mana x cranky. Alhamdulillah, ptg tu terus dpt tukar. After multiple stool samples given, blood tests... they still couldn't figure out what's wrong with Zarif. All test results came back -ve. So conclusion nye Zarif could be allergic to the papaya or apple that he ate at the daycare. Other babies who ate the same thing have no problem. So it's Zarif's gut issue. The best thing to do now is just monitor his bowel movement.
After 3 nights at UMMC, the bowel movement frequency reduced to less than 10x a day. On Saturday, Zarif got discharged. He pooped about 7x that day. The dietitian came and advised us on what to feed Zarif once we go back. Start slow and give something very unlikely to trigger any allergic reaction - rice porridge. We tried that before but Zarif didn't like plain porridge, so she said mix it with another 1 ingredient. I picked carrot. Alhamdulillah so far he is improving. Yesterday, down to pooping 2x a day. The doc said it will take time for his intestine to heal so he will have to eat "light" several months and be on that Mamex Gold Pepti several months as well. Susu tu sgt x sedap. Pahit gile!
Setelah 2 minggu x masuk office, Monday ni baru masuk. Risau nk hantar Zarif ke taska tp alhamdulillah diorg jaga ok. It's already Thursday today, so 4 hari dh.
It has been 3 weeks since it all started. How I feel? Penat, sedih... semua ada la. Thanks Mak jaga Zarif, jaga Izz, jaga Anis. Mak la yg susah payah dok dtg ke KPJ, dtg UMMC... bkn skali dua tp BANYAK kali. I don't know what I would do without you mak. Thank you Abg sbb balik awal. x tlg tukar diaper Zarif tp Abg dok ulang alik balik rumah, basuh baju, bwk baju bersih, beli food, beli susu. Mcm2 Abg tlg. Anis syukur sgt ada mak, ada Abg. Thanks adik2 dtg lawat Zarif kat hosp.
Semoga tiada lg bln2 seperti Oct 2015 in the future. Goodbye Oct 2015.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Today I decided to change the blog header to include Zarif. That's probably our first decent family photo. Sblm ni mesti x cukup org la, x cukup cantik la, etc. It was taken during Azri's wedding, by none other that the bride herself before the ceremony starts.
That is also our baju raya. Azri got married just before puasa, so we decided to buy our baju raya early and wear it during Azri's wedding. x payah beli byk baju kurung/melayu in the same year. Heheh. So our gambar raya will have us donning the same outfit.
Gambar raya pun dh ambik dh actually. Sejak ramai dh kawin ni, setiap tahun pasti ada je couple yg missing dlm gambar raya. Selalu nye ambik 1st raya so ada yg balik kampung mertua. So I came up with a brilliant and ingenious idea to have the gambar raya taken before raya itself so that everyone is in the photo (I was also the one who selected orange as this raya theme color). So last week we got ready mcm btul2 raya and went to a studio in Kajang to have our gambar raya taken. Yes, it was a bit weird tp I think this arrangement is a lot better vs ambik gambar 1st raya nnt. Ambik awal x payah tunggu2 (xde org lain nk ambik gambar raya time puasa) and with the babies around, mmg lg selesa mcm ni. The only shitty part is that the stupid studio x bg soft copy. Nk beli pun x bg. Mcm hampeh. Lain kali mmg kena carik studio lain, or simply ambik gambar on Saturday at our normal favourite studio. Last week we went on Sunday sbb ada org tu not available, she got her class on Saturday. Heheh.
That's all for now. Nk solat and ambik anak2. Until next time.... xoxo
Friday, February 20, 2015
Friday, October 3, 2014
Kadang2 it's fascinating kalau tgk ragam manusia. Maybe logically thinking would have a person act a certain way kalau berdepan dgn situasi tertentu, but kadang2 tindakan tu lain mcm disbbkan emosi. Cth nye kalau rumah terbakar. Of course you would run away from the house. But what if anak you tertinggal dlm tu. Emosi defeats all common sense and makes you run into the house instead of away from the house. Sbb you syg anak. Unless kalau you syg diri sendiri lebih dari syg anak, then you would do what logic tells you to do. Right?
Disbbkan emosi jugak la kadang2 we act the way that we do. Mungkin pada org lain small matter tp pada kite huge matter. Parents and children bole gaduh, boyfriends and girlfriends bole breakup, marriages and families can fall apart. Relationship can break because of each person rasa hanya pendapat and emosi dia je penting. Other people don't matter. It's either his/her way or the highway. They key to this whole problem: compromise.
This is no rocket science. When you really care about someone, just think. Is it really that important to always have things your way... or can you actually compromise? If there's no compromise, it simply means you don't really care about that person. Easy as that. Move on. But if you really care, then you know what to do. It may not be easy, but you do it anyway because you care. If things were easy, everybody in world would have no problem. And we won't need as many psychiatrist around.
Disbbkan emosi jugak kadang2 people can be so unpredictable. For example single women, diorg sepatut nye x kacau suami org. That's a big NO. Kena ada boundary pergaulan dgn suami org. Contoh kalau keje 1 office. Kena faham diorg ada pasangan and jaga hati pasangan tu jugak. Jgn ingat mentang2 pasangan tu xde dgn suami dia kat office, you bole flirt around dgn suami dia bila dia xde. Mmg xde etika kalau mcm tu. Tp x dpt dinafikan mmg ada je segelintir perempuan yg x kisah suami org ke x, semua dia nk test market. Last2 bila dh tersangkut dgn suami org, dh tersayang, payah la nk let go. Sepatut nye sblm test market dgn suami org tu dh pikir baik buruk tindakan tu. Cuba la pikir perasaan isteri org tu, kalau ada anak2 lagi. X kesian ke kat diorg? Oh well, for this kind of cases, I sincerely hope karma will bite them back hard. Berani buat kat org, jgn hairan la kalau terkena kat batang hidung sendiri satu hari nnt.
So bottomline... don't make decision dgn emosi. Allah bg akal, fikir. Don't be selfish, compromise.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Saya x pernah malu nk bgtau umur, sbb diri sentiasa rasa muda kot. Hehe. Apa2 pun bday tahun ni rasa paling paling paling x best. Ajak mkn besar x selera, ajak jalan2 x selera, ajak apa pun x selera la. Ini sbb Zul dh bg hadiah awal2 hari tu. Tp bole bukak hadiah nye tahun depan, skarang blm bole lagi. InsyaAllah. Hehe. Penuh makna. Terima kasih syg.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
My last 2 posts was about my sinus problem. It started middle of Aug, was quite bad, terus warded but I was not responding to medication hence the last option... surgery. Surgery was done a week after the diagnosis. Yes, it was quite bad. I couldn't wait much longer sbb sakit.
Surgery itself x teruk. It was done on 25th Aug and I was discharged on 26th Aug. 1 mlm je kat hosp. Yg x selesa kena bernafas melalui mulut pun slightly more than 24 hours je. However, the post op care was the difficult part. A week after surgery x bole angkat benda2 berat, x bole bongkok2, solat kena duduk, mkn x bole pedas2, minum x bole panas2, patut nye kena soft diet but I just couldn't take it so that lasted only for 3 days. Hidung pulak asyik tersumbat sebelah. Nasib sebelah, kalau dua2 belah lg teruk.
Then 2nd week things look a lot better tp kejap je rupe nye. I started having terrible headaches, on and off... and solat masih kena duduk, blm bole sujud. Then muka pulak sakit. Darah beku dalam hidung pun dh start berbau so I always smell the stink. I described the smell as the stink of wet laundry, but doctor described it as bau ikan kering. Both are equally terrible if you ask me. During follow-up appointment with the ENT, kata nye phlegm dh penuh kat area sinus so that's why I keep getting headache, pain on my face. Of course kena sedut the phlegm during that visit. It was not comfortable at all, but I am glad it was done. After a few days the headache was gone.
Then 3rd week things got a lot better... but suddenly I got an even worse headache dr sblm2 ni. Apa2 pun I am thankful that it lasted only for 2 days. Miserable 2 days. Alhamdulillah it never came back... Earlier today was my appointment with the ENT again. Since I am no longer in any sort of pain, I am cleared for work. He did say if suddenly the pain comes back, I can just go and see him. My next appointment with him is in 2 weeks. He just wanted to make sure the healing goes ok. As of now, I am still healing. A check inside my nostrils td confirms there is still some nasal crusting and phlegm but since there isn't any pain, he wants the healing to go on naturally.
I hope no more pain and discomfort after this. Penat dh MC. Seriously!